what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
