I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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