Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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