I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
