Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
This baby is an asshole
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize