Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize