oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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