direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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