Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
