yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
