So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
operation harelip BJ is a go
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
