What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
