The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
