so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
