We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
