But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
