I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I fill condoms, not promises.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
