I think i sorta joined a cult last night
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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