So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
