i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
