His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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