so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
