If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You can't motorboat a personality
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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