Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
