ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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