If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
