i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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