come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize