if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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