Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
