I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
