he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize