He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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