: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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