so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize