When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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