He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize