You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
