its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
