Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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