god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
