that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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