So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
