What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
