Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
