Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
