can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
