soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
