I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
