oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
