her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
