zippers are such a cool invention
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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