So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
