they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
