So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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