dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
