no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
